Phillip Moffitt
October 19, 2022
•
5
min read
Change is inevitable. Change is sometimes forced upon us, sometimes arises in the natural progression of life and sometimes must be initiated after a personal epiphany. Some changes we deal with easily, such as rescheduling conflicting commitments. Some changes are difficult and uncertain, such as the loss of capacities accompanying aging.
When chaos erupts in our lives, demanding we reconfigure to restore order, how many of us are truly prepared? Unfortunately, most of us are often unprepared and resistant. Being unprepared for change is not a sign of personal shortcoming.
We are generally unskillful encountering major change. We may intentionally or subconsciously avoid engaging with change in an unconscious attempt to ward off discomfort. Yet discomfort is the very thing that will grow deep inside of us the longer we delay facing necessary change. Embracing significant change and transitioning through it effectively is usually a great challenge.
These questions are designed to help you take the first steps in the journey through change. Designed to challenge and engage, we recommend you allow sufficient time to do complete work. Be honest with yourself as you use these questions to become aware and clear about the change you need to attend to now. The sooner you accept the need to do the work required for change, the less disruptive the process can be. “It’s better to dance with change than be dragged around the dancefloor.”
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy
Become Aware of and Accept Change – a Guide
Write answers to the questions that resonate for you…
- What question keeps occurring for which the answer is not obvious? (You may want to list several questions, then choose one you most resonate with)
- What has become important to you that wasn’t previously?
- What are you ambivalent about? (run hot and cold, how you feel oscillates, you’re “of two minds”)
- Where do you experience ambiguity? (don’t know how you feel, don’t know on what basis to make a decision, don’t know what you think, feel or value)
- Where are you feeling recurring anxiousness?
- Where are you feeling stuck?
- What feels out of balance right now?
- What are you trying to bring into balance in your life, your family, your company?
- What are you trying to maintain the balance of?
- What do you want more of in life? What do you want to reduce or eliminate?
- What is your primary focus in life? Is this still appropriate?
- In what area(s) of life do you not feel genuine, authentic?
- What do you feel guilty about?
- What do you feel shame about?
- In what domain(s) of life are you not living consistent with your values?
- Having achieved your personal and professional goals, do you have a new direction and focus?
- Where you have been forced into a professional transition that is not of your own making (your company downsized or went out of business)? What new possibilities and opportunities are open for you and how will you proceed?
- What change is essential for your continued well-being?
Take Action
Congratulations for taking the time to reflect and answer authentically. You have taken the first two steps in the journey through change.
If you now feel doubt, fear and/or uncertainty, you are at the third step in this journey. This is completely normal – you are right where you should be.
The next two steps are:
- Acceptance of the need for change
- Owning the change
If you lack clarity on how to move forward from here, you may wish to consider my help as a SkillfulChangeSM strategist, trained and certified by The Life Balance Institute in The Moffitt MethodSM. For those seeking a guide on this journey, I am here for you. Others have used my help to notice, accept, design and act with change, to feel empowered to make choices and to live with those choices. Our work is neither therapy nor life coaching, but rather a unique approach: advocating, guiding, collaborating, analyzing, strategizing and empowering you to plan and act effectively.
